15 years or so ago, Emilie Sheehan asked me why I wasn’t with a certain blue-eyed, broad shouldered, symmetrical face-having fellow. We had chemistry; his thorough and imaginative study night back massages definitely made me feel some type of way. He was handsome, and hidden-depths smart under a joyful, funny exterior. He had clearly made it known that I (a girl used to being a backup option) was the first and only choice to be his main attraction. Still, I held back.
“There’s something in me that’s scattered and wild,” I told her. “I need firm direction, to be driven towards a goal. Literally, the one time during Freshman year that I agreed to a date with him, he drove towards nowhere. We got lost, and he was FINE about it???* Just stayed cheery and kind of kept going like it was no big deal. My last boyfriend wouldn’t leave the house unless he’d printed directions** and actually studied them. I need that. I need someone who knows where he’s going, because I DEFINITELY don’t.”
Emily nodded along as she absorbed what I said. She thought about it for a bit, and then turned to look me dead in the eye.
“You need someone who enjoys being in the car with you so much that the destination doesn’t matter.”
Later that week, with this thought turning over and over in my head, the good lady Thera Smith invited me to a party at Justin’s house. The rest is history.
I am so, so grateful to Emilie for giving me the best advice I have ever, EVER received. Waze for Life hasn’t been invented yet, we can’t predict every detour and re-route and accident. There’s just no actual way to confidently KNOW every correct turn.
But goddamn.
For all our meanderings and wild detours, I’m in the car with someone I truly, truly enjoy. My partner is a man who intentionally does not tell me what my ambitions should be or what move to make next. He lets me simply travel, but his support, insight, and steady presence makes the journey something sacred.
So here we are, traveling to pick up our son from a grandparent adventure. We’ve just finished fat green chile papas y huevos breakfast burritos, we’re still working on our coffee. Our standing Saturday morning talk sesh with our couple’s therapist has just ended, and it was so fun because we are still ACTIVELY investing in our partnership. Alannah Myles is Black Velveting all over the speakers and we’re both laughing because I just announced that this song always makes me want to toss on a sharp-cut, shoulder-padded lady blazer and thrust to the beat like John Travolta in “Perfect” and he hit me with a “what else is new.” He has one hand on the wheel and another hooked around my thigh, and we know where we’re going (for now), but not how or where the day will close.
And I am happy. So happy.
.
.
.
*Justin would like me to add here that we have never been lost since and he actually has a very keen sense of direction. Apparently he knew what he was doing.
**Printed. Directions. Like, from MapQuest. Lol, I am a relic.
